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Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Kate's Trip to the Psychiatrist

Today I had my very first appointment with a psychiatrist.
It went well, I think.
I don't really know what to say about it, to be honest, and I don't know what I got out of it.
I have to go back in January because my symptoms could be down to a range of different problems, so one visit isn't enough. I've also been referred to see a psychologist to see what they say.
It's a waiting game. Again.
I'm not sure how I feel about it to be honest. I feel as though everything I've done over the past few months has been leading up to this appointment and it's been a bit of an anticlimax.
I arrived early just in case I might miss my appointment and waited for a little while before being taken into an interview room.
It was a plain room with a desk and squishy chairs. The chair was a lot squishier than what I'd first anticipated, so when I sat down I landed and then sunk downwards quickly, causing my stomach to jolt a bit. Then the interview began. I felt like I had to say the right things and wasn't sure if I was.
We talked about how I had been feeling and I pretty much read off printed-out pages of this blog, because it's so hard to phrase on the spot.
Before I knew it, an hour had passed and the interview was over.
After speaking to one more consultant for a little while, it was decided that the best course of action was to carry on my medication as it is and come back in January for another assessment.

Waiting. I hate it.
Of course I am perfectly happy to queue, as all British people are, because you know that somewhere ahead of you is the end of the line and you will get there.
But waiting for this is horrible. I just can't seem to get a straight answer.
I know it's better to wait and get an accurate diagnosis but at the same time I feel as though I'm just getting worse and worse as time goes on.
Hopefully things will get better.
I've got you guys, my readers, if you're out there! I'm going to need you while I wait in limbo, neither cured nor diagnosed. I'll keep posting if you'll keep reading and I'll get through this - in theory. In practice is a whole different kettle of fish.


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